“I Can tell you where I was when they happened…. where I was
when I got the phone call…where we were driving…I can remember where we were or
how we felt . On purpose I have kind of forgotten intentionally a little bit of
our timeline because I don’t want to remember it…. To me it wasn’t productive
to remember it” – Dr. Abhay Singh
It's almost 9 years since she left us ... and every now and
then it hits me like a lightning bolt .
For those who have been in my life
since I waddled around as a toddler I have heard all sorts of unkind things
where my relationship with my mother is concerned . I was sulky , angry,grumpy.
I didn't chew and threw up my food . I threatened her as per her own words "ke
papa ko bataaungi".... I was Pakistan and she was India by a kind hearted amazing
surgeon coz he would walk in daily and see me admonishing and fighting with her
.
But here is what I remember ... I remember the bad times and the good. I
remember as a pre-teen her picking up torn notes and piecing it together to
protect her child from abuse from a neighbours staff.
I remember her standing by
me and telling me I deserved better. I remember her wanting to pop champagne
when I said "mumma I want to come home".
I remember her needing a oxygen tube to
breathe at home and yet resting her hand and recoiling when she dressed my
wounds.. I don't remember much but I remember how she taught me always to hold
my head up high despite the adversities and to always do the right thing to the
best of my ability.
I am weaker without her and I am stronger because of her. The sulky grumpy child has made it a mantra always to speak them golden words
... this too shall pass.. the glass is always half full not half empty were the
words that my father would say .. and so I strive to be their daughter.. to
superglue the cracks in my armour and to try.. just try to be all that they and
I always dreamed of.
